The world has changed and the so-called вЂњnew normalвЂќ is something to which everyone needs to adapt. If the pandemic is the only thing that is holding you back from enjoying life in Japan, then thereвЂ™s a good chance that no matter where you are in the world youвЂ™ll still feel the same level of dissatisfaction. I assume from your email that you dated, went out regularly, saw your friends and engaged in hobbies. Think about what you liked about your life in Japan prior to the pandemic. Uncertainty breeds uncertainty, and while I wonвЂ™t even attempt to predict when life will be вЂњnormalвЂќ again, I will say that rushing to make decisions now can backfire on you. Sometimes, that turmoil can cause irrational but seemingly rational reactions and lead to different issues later on. Generally speaking, I donвЂ™t recommend making any major life decisions during a pandemic or when youвЂ™re experiencing emotional turmoil. If all you see of someoneвЂ™s life is how constantly amazing everything is, then youвЂ™re not getting the whole picture.ДЄ good question to ask yourself is this: are you jealous of their life or of the control that they appear to have over their life? Knowing that will help you to understand your feelings and may make that unhappiness you feel at your life in Japan disappear. Remember, anyone can post anything online and claim it as fact. ItвЂ™s been proven repeatedlyВ that people only post their idealized selves online, after all. Nine times out of 10, what is being posted on social media is a filtered, enhanced and otherwise fictional version of reality. If youвЂ™ve been spending more time on social media than you normally would and are taking your cues from what your friends are posting there, then I recommend you take a break. The pandemic is probably not helping those feelings and could even be exasperating them. Happy birthday! That is a very familiar feeling, one that a lot of people who have stayed long term in Japan experience. I liked my life before the pandemic, but now I feel deeply uncertain about my choice. That the longer I stay in Japan, the less likely I am to get married, have kids, buy a house and so on. IвЂ™m starting to feel like IвЂ™m missing out on having a real life. IвЂ™ve been talking to friends back home and they all have proper careers, some have homes and kids, some are getting married. However, itвЂ™s my birthday soon and IвЂ™m starting to feel like IвЂ™m missing out on a lot. IвЂ™m single (since the pandemic started), child-free, live in my own apartment, have hobbies and friends I love, and otherwise am healthy. IвЂ™ve lived in Japan for seven years, ever since I graduated college. Got a question youвЂ™d like to ask Hilary? Email it to Dear Hilary, Savvy Tokyo's resident 'Love in Japan' columnist, Hilary Keyes, answers anonymous questions from readers on everything from dating in Japan to womenвЂ™s health issues.

Fresh off the boat show